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The Ataraxy Blog

Blame, Guilt, Fear and Judgement - part 1

9/12/2019

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Today I'm going to talk to you about the direct influence of the four big bads for a good corporate culture. They are blame, guilt, fear and judgment. And by judgment I don't mean judgment about a strategy, I mean judgment about a person, whether that person is a good person or a bad person, for example.
 
So, let's see how they apply.
When you've got a leader who is relatively low in emotional intelligence, or they're under the pump, which is a consequence, they might be stressed or busy, they tend to, more likely go towards using blame and guilt and fear and judgment in their leadership style. They say, "you should have done better, "or, "you could have done better, "in certain circumstance. When you apply blame, guilt, feat and judgment to a conversation as a leader, you're attacking the person. You're attacking the individual, saying, "they've done wrong."
 
Now when you do that, the person has to protect themselves, so you get from that, you get self-protective behaviors, and the person is trying to protect themselves from you, and from the company. They're not working with the company; they're protecting themselves from the company. As a consequence of self-protective behaviors, you get things like people being closed, people being inflexible, people being argumentative. You get procrastination, you get low empathy, you get a very high us versus them silo-ing, and escapes and excuses and minimization of behavior. It's not a very productive way of going about.
 
But if you've got a leader with high emotional intelligence or is in a brain space where they can be more open and flexible, they tend not to talk about the person being wrong, but they talk about ideas and concepts. And when people talk about ideas and concepts, they're attacking the problem and not the person. And when you attack the problem and not the person, magically you get problem solving behaviors from the person.
 
You get them, they're more open, they're more flexible, they're on the same side looking at the problem as you, they're creative, they're more authentic, they're more curious and engaged.
 
So, the direct emotional state of the leader and how they apply influence on the people around them, especially in relation to blame and guilt and fear and judgment, has a massive impact on the way people behave at the other end.
 
So, do what you can to prioritize emotional intelligence in your leadership. It gets more done. You don't waste time on unproductive behaviors, and self-protective mind states. You just get more stuff done.
 
I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'd love to understand what's going on for you, so please message me when you can, and go about minimizing blame, guilt, fear and judgment.
 
It just makes life easier.
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