Be - Do - Have

The Western model of success under which we all live is a ‘meritocracy’. That is a society that says ‘anyone who wants to achieve can, and those who progress furthest do so on the basis of talent and merit’ (hence merit-ocracy).

A few hundred years ago, there was no such arrangement. If you were a blacksmith’s son, you became a blacksmith.  If you were a blacksmith’s daughter, your best hope would be to marry the baker’s son. There was no guilt or expectation for anything higher in the social hierarchy.

The Western model of success under which we all live is a ‘meritocracy’. That is a society that says ‘anyone who wants to achieve can, and those who progress furthest do so on the basis of talent and merit’ (hence merit-ocracy).

A few hundred years ago, there was no such arrangement. If you were a blacksmith’s son, you became a blacksmith.  If you were a blacksmith’s daughter, your best hope would be to marry the baker’s son. There was no guilt or expectation for anything higher in the social hierarchy.
 
In a meritocracy; however, where anyone can and is expected to achieve anything, ‘not achieving’ becomes your fault. Meritocracy relies on the idea of the level playing field and the equal opportunity – so that the best and brightest rise to the top. This is, of course, an illusion. There is no level playing field, there is not equal opportunity. The youngster living in Arnhem Land ‘could’ become the prime minister – it is possible – but the chances are he/she is more likely to do so if they grow up on the North Shore in Sydney. The myth prevails; however, and most of us go through life setting goals life goals and measuring success in the following way:
 
I want to HAVE some stuff: Good job/career, happy family, money in the bank, nice house, car – all the stuff we think we want.
​
To HAVE this stuff I need to DO some stuff: studies, fit in socially, play the game, save $$, borrow money etc., study some more, change jobs.

​We then measure our success in life according to the stuff we have (or haven’t got). We become attached to some society determined external ideal of success and then measure our self-worth according to this ideal.
 
We can learn something from Buddhism here. In Buddhism, the Second Noble Truth is that “All suffering is caused by desire and attachment to that which is impermanent, and everything is impermanent.”
 
With this in mind, perhaps focusing on our way of being might be better.  For example:

• I want to BE a certain way more of the time, as a result of BEING this way,
• I will DO a bunch of stuff, as a consequence of BEING and then DOING
• I will end up HAVING some stuff.

By focusing on your way of being, it doesn’t ultimately much matter what you choose to DO in life, and as a consequence of that you will HAVE.
 
BE – DO – HAVE
BE - MORE.